We've Got to Let Go of All of Our Ghosts
by StumblingAlong
Summary: What if the actual Maid Marian, not a disguised Zelena, had returned at the end of season 3? What if there had been no Frozen curse there after? What if we had been able to see a real conversation between she and Robin?


**(A/N: I, like most everybody, am OBSESSED with Adele's new album '25'. My favorite song, or, well, one of many favorites, is "Send My Love (To Your New Lover)" and as I listened to it, I could not get this concept out of my head.**

 **So, as the summary states, this takes place in S4, if the actual Maid Marian had returned, had not been frozen, etc. This is a one-shot surrounding both Robin and Marian, from her point of view, but heavily Robin/Regina hinted.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own 'Once Upon A Time' or any of it's characters. Rights belong solely to the creators and network, this is merely written for fun.)**

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The arrow drops unceremoniously onto Robin's lap and she cannot help but smirk when his pinched brow meets her gaze, confusion marring his features.

"What is this?"

"You've become a poor excuse for an archer if you have lost the ability to recognize an arrow," Marian teases him as she perches herself beside him, her shoulder playfully nudging his own, but his expression remaining as solemn as it has been the past few days- ever since she returned to his life.

They're rested upon a log at the Merry Men camp, a hub currently empty as the men have gone out to

"Yes, I know it is an arrow," Robin curtly responds, but must recognize his gruff attitude, because he relaxes his tensed shoulders, licking his lips and clarifying his reply, "I'm just befuddled as to why you have handed me one."

"It has a gold tip," Marian points out, observing his reaction, carefully. She notices his breath hitch, his body stiffen once again, and she softly adds, "And I think I know the source of where such an extravagant weapon came from."

Robin's cheeks reddened, as if he is a child caught in the midst of committing an infraction of some sort. "I can, um, I can rid myself of them if that is what-"

"No, Robin, I do not wish for you to forfeit this arrow," Many things have changed, but it appears the basis of who he is has remained intact, she notes with appreciation, always willing to put others before himself, even at the expense of his own happiness. She draws in a deep breath, before answering the unspoken question dangling between them, "I want you to follow it."

"Follow it?" He's befuddled, rightly so, she supposes. Marian is still a tad confounded, herself. It hasn't been very long since she's arrived in this realm, a stranger to her- much like her husband has become in her life.

"You once told me that you never miss your mark when shooting, not only because of your skill, but because the arrow _knows_ where it's meant to go- it's an extension of yourself. And I think we both know where this particular arrow- and _you_ \- belong."

Robin pushes out a strangled breath, twisting the shaft in between his fingers, refusing to meet her eyes.

"I made a vow, to you," He argues, his resolve evident, "Marian, I cannot leave my wife-"

"Well then it is fortunate that you don't have one," She smiles, retrieving the piece of paper from her robes, holding it out to Robin who glances down at the folded parchment, to her, to and fro, until Marian finally rolls her eyes, sighing, exasperatedly, "You always did prefer to be told information directly."

So she begins her explanation.

"I met Belle, from the… the…," Searching for the term within the recesses of her brain proves ineffective and, thankfully, Robin provides "library" and she nods, feeling her cheeks heat with a moment of embarrassment, as she admits, "It is still an adjustment, this realm."

"Belle showed me some documents at the library, even managed to replicate a portion, which is what this is, and laws in this land state that the vow we took, 'until death do us part', is just that. And death, permanent or not, did already part us, Robin. Our marriage ended when my life did."

His eyes widen and he grasps the paper, opening it, scanning over the words with vigor. When his stare meets hers again, he is still shocked, his mouth opening and closing once, twice, and, on the third, words finally pour out, a less than elegant blurt of "So we're no longer married?"

She laughs, unable to do anything else, his bewildered expression and the absurdity of the situation resulting in a humorous reaction from within her. She allows her giggling to taper off before she is shaking her head, confirming his words. "No, we are not."

Silence befalls them again; a peculiar situation, indeed. She's certain he is trying to forge his own protocol, juggling how to process her words and proceed as respectfully as possible for all involved.

"I don't deserve this," Robin whispers, suddenly.

 _Oh._

Marian isn't quite sure how to respond, so she makes the decision not to. She waits patiently until he starts mumbling again, his head bowed, his fingers pinching the paper still clutched in his hands. "I don't deserve your kindness, your support. Not when I've been such a poor excuse for a husband."

"Robin," She murmurs, patting his shoulder reassuringly, "You put me and the duty you thought you had to me above your own needs, that is nothing short of admirable, of course you are deserving."

He shakes his head, his teeth biting into his bottom lip so hard that it is transforming into a disturbing, pale shade and she reaches up, forcefully yanking it from his own abuse, but he recoils from her touch. "Not just since your return, Marian. Also… after your death."

Marian blinks, unable to voice the confusion plaguing her thoughts.

"I-" He stutters, his shoulders slumping, bogged down by the defeat of the admission in the purgatory between his mind and his tongue until he musters up the courage to spit out the words, "I…hated you, when I had been told of your death."

Her heart clenches, hearing her husband, former husband, rather, say he had held hatred in a heart she always knew to be so pure, hatred for her, being an admission that is hard to receive and she blinks away the wetness that stings at her eyes, forces herself to place a comforting hand on his forearm, allowing him to continue.

"I wondered how you could abandon your son, how you could abandon me, how you could permit death to take you from us when we were a family, supposed to be together forever," He chokes on his words, she notices the vein between his neck and jaw jutting outwards, a tell-tale sign of his throat constricting, tightening with emotion. He heaves in a breath, then says, "And it's just foolish of me to think that way. You no more wanted to leave us than a leaf wants to leave its branch, I know that."

She nods, taking a moment to steel her emotions, not wanting to open her mouth and release nothing but a sob. When her voice feels stronger, feels more confident in her ability to speak, she closes her eyes and confesses, "I had the opportunity to come back."

Robin's head whips up, his stare on her instantly, but his mouth is closed, silently begging with his widened eyes for her to give an explanation behind her words and, after a heavy sigh, she reveals her most shamed memory.

"The Evil Que-" She stops herself, sees Robin flinch at the former monarch's moniker, and she redirects her anecdote accordingly, "The Queen had given me the choice to tell her what I knew of Snow White and return to my home."

He is off of the log before she can stop him, standing, with a hand running anxiously through his mop of light brown hair, the forest floor crunching beneath his feet as he paces back and forth in front of her. A growl emits from his throat and, through clenched teeth, he demands, "And you refused? You protected a stranger, a bandit accused of heinous crimes, instead of saying what you knew? Hell, you could have _lied_ and returned to Roland and I!"

"Robin, you and I both know that Snow White was innocent of the crimes she was accused-"

"We _thought_ we did, Marian!" Robin snaps, "We _thought_ Snow White was innocent based upon our prejudice against royals, our devotion to some crusade against people simply because they were wealthy. For Gods sakes, we could have been wrong! For all we knew, she was a traitor, a _murderer_ , of her kingdom!"

"She was not the murderer of that kingdom, Robin." The words aren't said with malice behind them, though they seem to spark more ire from her former husband.

"And that doesn't bother you?!" He shouts, suddenly, causing Marian to jump slightly, the volume of his voice, the acidity dripping from his tone, taking her by surprise, "That the woman I'm in love with is the same who had ordered your death, my _wife's_ death?!"

"Does it bother _you_?"

"It should! I should feel anger and repulse and an urge to enact justice, not… this, not-" Marian watches with compassion as he struggles to explore his own emotions, let alone adequately convey them, his fingers scratching almost violently at the stubble of hair sprinkled across the lower portion of his face.

"Love?"

Robin's body sags dejectedly, as if he's exhausted, and he plops back down beside her on the log, his throat choked with emotion, glancing at Marian, worriedly, as he replies with a simple, but hoarse, "Yes."

She's surprised to find that it doesn't sting, that his admittance to coveting, _loving_ , the Queen isn't salt on a freshly opened wound. Where emotions like bitterness and resentment should reside within her, all Marian feels is sympathy, empathy, even, for a man she had invested her heart in for so many years. But he's not the same man, nor is her heart the same as it once was. Instead of desiring to kiss away the frown from his lips, all she wants is to offer some general comfort to him, for the love that he holds for someone else, because of the love she will always hold for him- even if she's not _in_ love with him anymore.

"Her Majesty- _Regina_ ," Marian amends quickly, name flitting into her mind and off of her tongue easier than she could have imagined even just a few days ago, "Was not whose hands I died at, Robin."

He knows this already, she can practically see the painful, torturing, overwhelming feeling of guilt gnaw at him. His jaw clenches and his eyes shoot down to his shoes, avoiding her gaze.

Robin's voice is low, barely audible to her and she cautiously scoots closer towards him as he recites his experiences, of life after hers had ended, "The Men and I searched for you, I almost got us captured a time or two because I was so desperate for information regarding your whereabouts. Finally, a man, a soldier, I believe- he bore the markings of one- found us and delivered the news of your death; of how you had been killed by a fellow prisoner, one whose father I had stolen from, who wanted to enact her own revenge. It was my fault."

Marian nods, frowning at a memory she can't truly feel, but one she can conceptualize from Princess Leia's- _Emma's_ \- magic which had allowed a portal, through a dreamcatcher, to see into what once had been. She swallows, composing herself as she shakes off the morbid reminders of death, clinging to her soul like moss to a rock, and releases a sigh, "That was far from your fault, Robin. Nor does it make any difference now. Don't you see? I want to live from of restraints from obligation and guilt, I want that for _both_ of us."

He appears unbelieving her words absolving him of culpability, glancing at her with apprehension, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. "Marian, I can't, _I won't_ , just abandon you. You've barely been in this realm for but a moment… Where would you go?"

"A very nice, pretty woman at Granny's said I could become a 'waitress', I believe that's where they're called here, with my experience of being a server at the tavern," Marian fondly recalls Ruby, with soft features and a softer voice, who was exceedingly helpful, as well as generous, with the offer she extended her, "She also said I could live at their adjoining inn for as long as I work there."

"And Roland?" It makes her smile, what a wonderful father he has become- one she had no doubt he would be since their beautiful son's conception. Under Robin's parental guidance, Roland is a vibrant, caring, and adorable child. Her heart breaks for the years she's missed with him, but swells with joys as she remembers she gets to experience all the ones to come.

"He's lived most of his years without me, Robin, I don't think us living separately will be too much of a burden for him, especially since he already loves your Regina."

"He loves you-" But Marian holds up her hand, stopping his attempts to placate her feelings, a protection that is far from necessary.

"I don't doubt my son's affections for me, Robin. He was the one who recognized me, almost instinctively, that night I returned. And I know all three of us can share in parenting him. I'm happy he's had her, _has_ her. I'm told she even saved his life, so I could never begrudge his relationship with her. A true man of Locksley, he has room is his heart to love many people."

"I did love you," Robin offers, his eyes brimming with unshed emotion, sparkling at her in a way that reminds her of the young, misguided man she had met many moons ago, with a heart as full of gold as his pockets were, but tainted by his past and unsure of how to survive any other way than he had been. "I loved you dearly, Marian, and a part of me still loves you and always will."

"I know you did, and I you," She smiles sadly, in return, covering his hand with hers, "We were barely but babes when we met, though, Robin. Now we're grown, we've lived, as well as died, for some of us." They both share a humorless chuckle at that somber sarcasm. "First love isn't always supposed to be forever."

"However," The corners of her lips tip upwards into a bittersweet smile as she reaches out and tentatively taps the tattoo of a lion that is etched into the skin of Robin's forearm, "I hear that 'soulmates' very well could be."

Robin appears shocked, to say the least. His mouth agape, his head jerking to the side, his brow furrowing furiously. But he doesn't ask how she knows and she doesn't share how she does, how she's spoken to Snow White and Emma, not only to inform herself about what has occurred since her "death", but just female companionship to effectively sort her emotions out.

"So, Hood, you better treat her right," Marian teases, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving a slight grip of support, "I can see how in love with her you are, you need to cherish that. Don't allow any more ghosts, deceased or living, to come between the two of you again."

He is staring at her in awe, as if she had just performed a miracle, when, really, she believes it is the other way around. Yes, she loves Robin, but her words have been sincere: their time has passed. She can now be her own woman; truly become acquainted with who she is outside of the maiden daughter of a noblemen or the wife of the realms' most famous hoodlum. And just as she has risen from the ashes of "Maid Marian" and "Marian of Locksley", breathing life to her true identity, just Marian, Robin can enjoy the life he has cultivated for himself, as well as bask in the love he has opened himself up to, one he deserves and one that, perhaps, will allow Marian to find her own soulmate.

For what Regina has done for Robin, for Roland, and now, inadvertently, for her, Marian might need to have her former husband send her love to his new lover for her.

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 **(A/N Part 2: My goal with this was to pay tribute to Robin and Marian's previous relationship, while maintaining the love Robin and Regina share in the present and future, so I hope I was able to accomplish that.**

 **Some clarifications: I wanted to stick to canon as much as possible, but I also felt necessary to fill in some blanks, such as why, in S3, Robin said Marian's death was HIS fault, yet in S4, we saw Regina had Marian taken into custody, so I created my own back-story for that, as well as Robin having killed in his "outlaw" days, prior to his and Marian's relationship, based off of his comments to Regina, on the show, about how he can relate to her past. Also, how much ass would Sean kick with this kind of meaty, raw material? I wish OUAT would quit wasting his incredible talents on the sidelines! Also, I adore Christie as an actress and wish we'd seen more of her.**

 **And, yes, I did mention Red offering Marian a job and a room, so let's pretend that she was still there in Storybrooke, not using the bean and going back to the Enchanted Forest like we saw in 5x09.**

 **Thank you SO much for reading. It means the world to me and I hope you enjoyed it.)**


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